valentinesday1
for phinnie, paige, eva, brooke: some day
The valentines I give you are from your grandmother and me, because this day was always special.
In school, every year, for every class, 5th or 8th grade, our class had a party. The price to attend was a name-designated, signed paper valentine, personally handed to each and every classmate. Some of my proudest moments are former students, from as far back as 1973, telling me they still have one or more of their valentines, especially from me, or a boy or girl they liked. I’ve saved many of theirs too. As librarian, on Valentines Day, your grandmother used to send each and every faculty and auxiliary member, even the ones she didn’t like, a valentine and a bottle of water to go with their candy.
I always gave your grandma 4 cards and something. Wish I didn’t regret, but reality is I never got it right.
For years, I’d buy her the clunky gold jewelry she said she loved; a locket, necklaces, rings, cameos; til she told me to stop buying, because she “loses everything” and “You’re spending too much.” I never said anything, but, after years, realized the truth. Your grandma seldom liked or wanted to spend the money on the jewelry I picked. She didn’t want to disappoint me, and, excepting one bracelet and necklace, she’d lie that she loved it, wear it on Valentines Day, and then secretly return it. After all, this was Phyllis. There is no-one like her. All other times, she wore her “smoky topaz”, ” a stone inset in gold on a gold necklace given to her by her previous boy friend. She’d ask if I resented that. I didn’t want to disappoint her. I always lied and said I didn’t. She never said anything, but, after years, she realized the truth, and stopped wearing it. It wasn’t anywhere near as noble or heart-rending, but I kinda think of it as our idiosyncratic “The Gift of the Magi”, one of your grandma’s absolute favorite stories,
I went to roses and Sees. Again, she didn’t want to disappoint me, until a few more years later, she told me what all her friends but me knew; that she “hated flowers because they die.”
So it was many years of various forms of chocolate. asti, supper, and cards.
What it should’ve been was what she’d actually say; “Wine and dine me”. She wanted a romantic cruise. Sadly, we had cruise reservations twice, but bad stuff prevented it both times. But we had 41 Valentines Days, retrospect is 20-20, and your grandpa/pappy is an idiot.
Even so, Valentines Days with your grandmother were many of the very best days of this idiot’s life.
