One year before my 25th anniversary debacle, we made Phyl a 50th birthday party. The centerpiece was this questionnaire. 1998 was part 1, pre-phms librarian; (part 2 was 2008) 10 questions from “So You Think You Know Phyllis”….
1. Phyl comes from seaside Winthrop, a few houses from the ocean. Her brothers’ boats and lobster traps yielded free lobster. What was the favorite Steinberg dinner?
A) Lobster Tail
B) Lobster Roll
C) Lobster Bisque
D) Greased saltine and cream cheese ‘sandwiches’ deep fried in previously-saved schmaltz (chicken fat).
2. Which of these people hit on her in our first year of marriage?
A) Our eye doctor
B) Our mortician
C) Her electrical engineering professor
D) Our dentist
E) Her lobsterman
F) Her therapist
3. What is Phyllis saying….?
“Heasfokwohduhzfohthmeeta”
4. After proposing, in 1972, when we slept over night on the floor of North Station/Boston Garden, in line to get Bruins’ playoff tickets, my friends and the hundred folks in line serenaded me with what song?
A) The theme from “Love Story”
B) “The First Time Ever I saw Your Face”
C) “Brandy, You’re a Fine Girl”
D) “Precious and Few”
E) “If You Wanna Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life, Never Make a Pretty Woman Your Wife”
5. We’ve taken pix of Phyl with a lot of famous literary people, which is the only one displayed in Phyl’s schoolroom (note; soon to be library)
A) Ray Bradbury
B) Caroline Kennedy
C) Ann Rice
D) Garrison Keillor
E) Ellie Wiesel
F) Sue Grafton
G) Larry Bird
6. We live in Agoura, CA. Which of these do i hear every day of my life?
A) “You took me away from my family”
B) “You took me away from my family”
C) “You took me away from my family”
D) “You took me away from my family”
E) “You took me away from my family”
7. Every one of these people know Phyllis by name, and Phyllis knows every one of these people by name, except….
A) Everyone on our street
B) The people at the Agoura Post Office
C) The people at Agoura Ralphs
D) The people at Thousand Oaks Toyota
E) Her student teaching assistants
8. Aside from motherdom, which is Phyl’s proudest accomplishment
A) Never lost a teacher or parent election. School Councils eleven for eleven. President AHS Boosters more times than anyone ever.
B) 5 full credentials (including one of first four, maybe the first, California State Reading Specialist Credentials.)
C) CHS Senior Class Adviser, Student Government, All-Event (Dance, Homecoming, Prom) Coordinator
D) Helping friends return unreturnables, negotiate the purchase of a car, get markdowns, use expired coupons.
9. For which of these was Phyl on the front page of the Daily News (2nd biggest paper in Los Angeles) for multiple days?
A) Her initiating LGB club in school
B) Her initiating LA River flood channel lessons in schools
C) Her pre-prom fashion shows and LAPD pre-prom anti-drinking program
E) The famous authors she brought to CHS
F) Friday night football, LA City #1 ranked Taft High came to #2 Chatsworth’s Phyl-run Homecoming. Legendary Taft coach Troy Starr ignored/neglected to have his team stand at attention as Phyl’s girl sang the National Anthem, enraging our Phyllis, and landing Phyllis vs. Troy Starr on the front pages.
10. Phyllis or Alan?
Jody and Adam situational choice of parent, for….
A) money
B) transportation
C) clothes
D) social advice
E) dating advice
F) keeping secrets
G) any fucking thing in the world
answers: all final choice,(excepting #2 & 10; all choices, and #3 “Here’s four quarters for the meter”)
Your grandma was really something special.
